The time I left Barbieland (aka Hawaii).

A rebirth? For spring? Groundbreaking.

I grew up with very traditional seasons on the west coast of Canada. We are known to have it mild compared to the rest of the country—and we absolutely do—but the winters are still no joke. Daylight fluctuates between 7.5 hours a day (winter) to 16.5 hours a day (summer). Everything is cyclical; in rhythm and motion with the four seasons amongst us.

After reading this article last week—which posed the question of whether or not you feel a sense of belonging from your current location—I instantly thought about the years when I lived on the North Shore of Kauai. If you aren’t familiar with this region, give it a quick google search and you will be greeted with the most picturesque photos of paradise you’ve ever laid eyes upon. I have no right to complain about my experience living in this tropical oasis—and I won’t. But I would like to share a personal story about living without seasons and coming to realize how much I rely on them for personal growth, emotional balance, and fresh starts.

Ke’e Beach, Kauai (2017)

So there I was in Hawaii, a summer baby at the age of 27 living her brightest life. Each and every day I awoke to the bountiful and lush season of summer—my prayers had finally been answered. Leaves were the size of small SUVs, avocados were the size of footballs, and the ocean was warm enough to swim in at any given moment. The intensity of this abundance was contagious and enlivening. I was thriving in it, working longer hours than ever before. Constantly finding more energy to spend on bigger and better ideas. Playing in the jungle with every moment I had off—always making time for the beach, the next hike, and drinks on the patio. The sun rose and set at the same time everyday—a reliable and consistent state of bliss. A way of living that caused time to stand still. Months, years, birthdays, and christmases started passing without a trace. You know what they say about too much of a good thing...

After a couple years, it eventually got to a point where I felt like I needed a break from summer. To be honest, I probably needed that break long before I realized it. Don’t get me wrong, I will never take that chapter of my life (or that unbelievable island) for granted. But the abundance piled on top of abundance 365 days a year started to drain me. If this is reminding you of the Barbie movie right now, I was just thinking the same thing! Was I broken? Everyone around me seemed more than content to live in the rainbow state forevermore. Acting like everything was normal and nothing else existed outside this bubble of bliss while I was there like:

Barbie (2023)

I started craving some darkness and cool air. I wanted some time off the island. As a girl who complains about the winter every single year, I was shocked when I found myself looking for an excuse to pull out my toque and mittens. To bundle up and take a quiet walk through a field of snow to collect my thoughts. I wondered if it was the challenge of winter I was longing for? Maybe I needed something to test my strength? Or maybe winter was nature’s only way of forcing me to pause and take a breath?