The Real Reasons Why Women Read
From social anxiety to "rising above the prosaic gravity of daily life"—here's what the community has to say.
Sometimes it’s the simplest questions that dive the deepest.
Earlier this year, I was invited to a zoom call discussing the practice of reading (and the recent rise of internet ‘lit-girls’). In a panicked state of feeling completely unqualified, I gratefully accepted the bid and immediately started preparing. I assumed I would be asked questions like… why do you read? After giving this specific question a lot of thought, I was ready to bare my soul, but alas, it was never asked.
My reflections weren’t lost though—they revealed to me the complexities and influences that reading has on so many aspects of my life. What could easily come across as a humdrum hobby holds much greater power than meets the eye. At first I came up with all the typical reasons like:
to strengthen my vocabulary and writing
to gain new perspectives, learn, and grow
to feel connected, seen, heard, and understood
to lower my screen time
But eventually I got to the deeper layers.
The way reading helps to manage my social and mental anxiety, my genuine love for the craftsmanship of slow art, its ability to crack me open, and the companionship of writing’s eternal existence.
It made me want to open up the topic with other readers in the community. So I sent out a few email inquires offering up the question I’d practiced for my zoom call and received the most beautiful responses. Almost everyone wrote back to tell me the act of sitting down with this question was therapeutic, enlightening, grounding, or surprising. Some of the answers nearly brought me to tears.
Today I’ve placed these responses, along with my own experiences, in the form of a short essay to open the dialogue further and celebrate all the ways reading has enriched our lives. There are some real gems in here—I hope you enjoy.
Reading for Anxiety
“Reading is an opportunity to be still—for my mind to rest on one thing—and be drawn away from the thoughts and anxieties that are so often present.”
CAMERON GIBSON
Creator of Slaggy Book Club
I struggle with racing thoughts. My stress levels are often higher than my current reality requires. Reading takes a hold of my mind’s attention and pulls me out of anxious patterns. This is more than the fact that reading gets me to physically sit down. While touching paper and holding a novel in my hands grounds me, when I read, my thoughts actually sit down and listen. Like uncontrollable children that suddenly become entranced by a storyteller—quietly sitting in a semi circle without distraction—magic.
I find it soothing. Methodically turning each page like a single triumph. The part of me that needs small tasks and goals to feel like I’ve achieved something is appeased. I feel proud of myself when I finish a book, excellent, valuable even—and that’s a feeling we could all use a little more of.
“Meditation, for me, is about coming back into myself, my body and my mind, by shutting off from the outside world. It’s about slowing down, calming my thoughts, and creating space to exercise my imagination. Reading has always provided a safe space for my mind. I began to view reading as meditation, and that’s how I've referred to it ever since.” - Cameron Gibson
Reading to Crack Ourselves Open
“I want stories that leave bruises, that press me to imagine bolder, riskier choices, that make me consider what freedom actually costs.”
PETYA K. GRADY
Writer of A Reading Life (and working on a novel!)
“[W]hat a thrill it is to start a new book, knowing that I will get to walk alongside someone else’s experience of the world!”
ELYSE CHAMBERS
Writer of Field Blend & Owner of Wild Plum Books
Processing emotions doesn’t come naturally to me. Sometimes I’ll watch a movie in order to connect with myself. By mirroring someone else’s emotions it can be easier to gain access to my own. Like movies, books give me the space and permission to acknowledge internal layers I hadn’t yet given the time of day. They release the pressures, expand the boundaries, and encourage me to feel in seemingly infinite directions. Bending realities and opening possibilities—reading encourages me to try on different personalities, feed curiosities, and dabble with my imagination—all in the service of becoming more myself.
“I read in order to learn and be fascinated and surprised on a continual basis. It’s about connection and awareness — books reveal aspects of ourselves that make us feel seen or better understood.” -
“My reasons for reading shift with the seasons of life. Over the years, I've read to learn English, to be entertained, to piece together my own fractured identity as an Eastern European immigrant in America. [Lately,] I read in order to rise above the prosaic gravity of daily life, the claustrophobic rituals of midlife. It’s a strange irony—I adore my child, I adore my husband, but there’s a part of me that absolutely detests domesticity. I am drawn to books that unsettle me, that force me into the quiet, painful work of introspection. This year, I found myself especially captivated by three works: Playboy by Constance Debré, Scaffolding by Lauren Elkin, and The Lover by Marguerite Duras. Each of them, in their own way, a lesson in desire and its discontents, in the tenacity required to live authentically, even when the cost is nearly unbearable.” -
I’m so inspired by this answer. If that doesn’t make you want to pick up a book and read I don’t know what would.
Reading for Relief
“Reading is important to me because it is a portal that sustains hope and creates an escape from life’s grief and injustice.”
MARTHA ADAMS
Writer of Martha’s Monthly
Good stories have gotten me through hard times. They’ve also brightened otherwise boring days. They offer spaces we can visit without judgement. Any time of day. In a sense, books are ideal companions.
Reading has also offered me relief from social anxiety. After the pandemic, I found myself stumbling through small talk. My job isn’t very exciting and I haven’t travelled in years, so I started feeling like the details of my days didn’t bring enough value to conversations. Now I share the plot of the latest book I’m reading and I’ve always got something interesting to talk about.
“I read to satisfy my desire to learn and travel when I cannot leave my bed. Reading gives me company. It allows me to meet new people and enjoy a social life—two things I miss in the aftermath of losing my independence from a chronic health condition. I read because it provides me with an opportunity to stay curious and connected to a world that I can’t always be a part of physically.” -
Reading to Savour Slow Art
“Especially now, in our noisy digital world, reading is such a reprieve.”
MICHELLE MARTIN
Writer of Literary Leanings
“I read for the same reason I look out the window—to see the trees move, the birds flip about, the colours change, the rain fall; I read to remember the mystery of things.”
MELODY GOETZ
Writer & Artist
In a world of thirty second videos, I crave slow art. I want to spend hours, a week, or a month with a work. Not rushing the relationship, or moving on too fast after it ends, but getting to know it and understand it over time. Inviting it to become a part of me.
Novels take years to publish and I think that offers a different kind of bond between creator and consumer. There’s more trust and dedication involved. Not only time, but finances, thoughts, and ideas. It starts with selecting and obtaining the physical book, then experiencing the journey along each of its pages. Afterwards you get to admire the creased spine on your bookshelf amongst other collected memories—creating a work of art only your eyes can see.
“I also love to read because, over the past few years, as I've transitioned to a full-time photographer, I've really come to appreciate the art of storytelling. I'm more aware of the intense creative effort it takes to make creative work, leading me to see books as an art form. Sure, reading is entertainment, but I also love seeing how an author weaves together their story, and I am always in awe of that talent.” -
“I read to remember that I’m alive, and not alone, to find my people, and to meet people beyond my ken. To me, reading is a kind of breathing, in the same way that I imagine a fetus would find consolation in the continual companion thrum of its mother’s heart; it is elemental, necessary.” - Melody Goetz
So many beautiful answers!
I feel absolutely honoured to share the words of these women with you today. Please make sure to check out the incredible works they’re creating. I’m greatly inspired by each of them and know you will be as well.
We would love to continue this conversation by asking each of you…
Why do you read?
Until next week,
*It’s such a pleasure to be able to support the longevity of this craft by purchasing books at our local shops and utilizing resources like the public library. I am so grateful for this privilege and hope to always live in a world with access to physical books.
Lauren, given the context we are in... we should probably now add -- to dissociate from the dumpster-fire we are in to the list?!
Thank you for including me, I loved reading this so much!
When I was in 8th grade, we moved to a new state. We’d moved before so that was nothing new, but moving at that age is so hard. I read and re-read every Madeleine L’Engle book my new school’s library. I read so fast that I went to the library every other day to check out a new book. I’m sure I read other things that year (I know I read Gone with the Wind) but it’s the Madeleine L’Engle books that I remember. I was so lonely and miserable that year. Books were my friends, and that’s still how I approach reading even though now it’s also about learning my craft and appreciating writing, too.